| Damn the man! |
[Jun. 3rd, 2009|09:04 pm] |
I got shut down by a police officer today in the W 4 St station, who asked me if I had a permit to perform. I played the rube, but it turns out I don't have to:
According to section 1050.6 of the MTA code of conduct, I'm allowed to perform and take donations as long as I am 25 feet away from any ticketing device or window! You're not allowed to pursue commercial sales, but Ben, what if I'm all "Please feel free to take a CD in exchange for a $10 donation?" Will that jump that hurdle? |
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| Subway Follies |
[Apr. 6th, 2009|02:30 pm] |
[INT. N-TRAIN, MANHATTAN-BOUND, DAY.]
[LIGHT SHINES IN FROM THE AFTERNOON SUN.]
[PAUL'S POV SHOWS A SUITCASE VISIBLE THROUGH THE SUBWAY CAR DOOR WINDOW, WHICH HAS BEEN SCRATCHED AROUND THE EDGES. HE LOOKS IN FROM ONE END OF THE WINDOW, THEN THE OTHER. NO SIGN OF AN OWNER, OR ANYONE BETWEEN THE CARS.]
PAUL
(To OTHER PASSENGER)
Um.... So there's an unattended bag behind this door.
O.P.
Between the cars?
PAUL
....Yeah.
O.P.
(draws big breath)
Eeegh.
PAUL
This... feels like a "See Something" kind of.... Right?
O.P.
So.... SAY something?
PAUL
To whom? Who do I tell?
O.P.
Well, somebody. One of the staff on the train?
PAUL
How do we get to them while the train is in motion?
O.P.
Shit, I don't know. I've never actually thought about this before.... Shit...
PAUL
OK, let's just--
[JUST THEN, AN MTA OPERATOR PASSES FROM ONE FAR SIDE OF THE LIT WINDOW TO THE OTHER, INDICATING THAT THERE IS IN FACT AN OWNER ATTACHED TO THE BAG, AND PAUL AND O.P. HAVE BEEN LOOKING INTO THE MIDDLE OPERATOR'S ROOM.]
PAUL AND O.P.
AAAAGH!
[TRAIN COMES TO A HALT. DOORS OPEN AT 57TH AND LEXINGTON]
O.P.
Thanks for staying alert, man.
PAUL
...Yeah. I'm gonna go pass out now.
....AND SCENE! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2008|10:34 am] |
I know we're supposed to be past the "crying while eating" thing, but:
...it's still funny. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|09:21 am] |
I haven't watched this much CNN since 9/11.
HELL YES WE CAN! |
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| JUKEBOX! |
[Sep. 6th, 2008|08:36 am] |
You can now go to any Rowe/AMI internet jukebox, and download/play tracks off Boy Meets Girl for two credits.
If you go to Dee's, it's on their main lineup, and you can play stuff for one credit.
Seeing the album cover on the jukebox lineup was NUTS. |
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| Sing it, Ebba. |
[Jul. 4th, 2008|12:54 am] |
Does anyone remember this video?
I kind of dismissed this song before, but I really like it now. It feels to me like the lyrics came out of her while she was writing it in quick controlled bursts, like the way people talk when they're crying, or trying not to cry. And it's so damned hopeless and plaintive:
Been walked out upon and been the one walking out on the ones I love
Made my life a mess
Can't put the blame on anyone but myself
Lost hope
Lost faith
So many times, I lost count.
....Fucking sad songs. |
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| Open letter to Rockstar Games |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|04:18 pm] |
Dear Rockstar Games:
Please stop with the weird-ass grenade control scheme. There is no other game I can think of that actually allows me to HOLD A LIVE FUCKING GRENADE LONG ENOUGH TO BLOW MYSELF UP. This is just fucking stupid. I aim, I press the trigger, a thing goes red, and I die. The fuck? |
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| Know your roots |
[Mar. 23rd, 2008|05:54 pm] |
While the latest Skittles commercials awesomely combine candy with pathos in a way that probably appeals to everyone on my friends list, let us reflect on this gem from last year:
Happy Easter. |
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| The truth is out there |
[Mar. 21st, 2008|12:46 am] |
So, ever since reading Fast Food Nation a few years ago, I've had a certain level of paranoia.
Obviously, McDonald's was out for a while. I couldn't bear to think about the literal shit in the meat -- the golden arches now looked like an ass to me (not their original intent).
I was at Boston Market one day, and suspecting something was afoot, sucked the sauce off one of my spiral noodles. THE NOODLES WERE YELLOW, creating an illusion of uniform cheesiness.
TGI Friday's put out their brand of snacks, and a friend at work mentioned how much the corn-snack "Mozzarella Sticks" tasted just like cheese sticks. My response: "Yup -- very natural -- like they were plucked from the mozzarella stick tree." Then I gave them a lecture on McD's fries and beef aspects.
The biggest piece of FFN-related paranoia came, however, when I noticed the posters outside of BK changing from "Flame-Broiled" to "with that Flame-Broiled Taste(TM)." No longer, I told whoever was unfortunate enough to be standing around with me, were the burgers actually being flame-broiled -- they were being made to taste flame-broiled! They thought I was mad at the academy, but may I present:
I am going to try this "flame-broiled potato snack," now.
The snacks are round and same-sized, just like potatoes are -- I'd say twice the diameter of a quarter. They are covered in a powder that I assume is the "Flame-Broiled" flavor.
They are thicker than Munchos, chips, and Pringles.
At first, it's a regular bbq chip. Then comes the hint of mesquite. Then the garlic, the hint of worcestershire - it's like all the flavors of the Whopper, without the beef. I'm willing to believe there's no actual beef in this, which would make it an amazing tool for someone looking to transition to a vegetarian lifestyle from fast food junk---- NO. I refuse to find something worthy in this.... Delicious Delicious but EVIL but Delicious treat.
Motherfuckers. |
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| Best Gilmore Fight Ever. |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|08:20 pm] |
I know a lot of you gave up way before season 6. This Friday Night Dinner, however, is NOT to be missed. I watched it, like, three times. So good. SO GOOD.
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| Enjoy! |
[Mar. 13th, 2008|08:46 am] |
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| Stuff Purge |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|02:33 pm] |
OK, guys, here's an inventory -- come get it, it's yours.
Three IKEA tables -- two small, one medium -- if you were ever at the Carson St. apartment you've seen them.
One stool and two chairs, painted with that Mackintosh flower motif that Melissa was so into. Green and maroon.
Two media racks -- good for DVDs or CDs, each holds something like 150-200 DVDs. I won't need shelves where I'm going.
Three bookshelves -- wood, no back panel, three tiers each.
One computer desk -- also IKEA, very nice.
One queen-size bed, with split boxspring.
One 27-inch TV!
One CD-player, Sony, 50-disc carousel
Remember that big-ass entertainment system? Want it? It's yours.
Talk to me, guys -- take my stuff!
Let me know if there's anything else you guys need, I might be able to help. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2008|11:33 am] |
OK, fine.
He's Scottish.
Whatever. |
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